Closer
by Aristhea
Summary: Sirius has an unlikely companion who he abuses for his own dark passions. Yet his sweet attrition is cumbersome and soon he finds himself in an obsession that keeps him from sense. SLASH.


Disclaimer's Notice: I do not profit from the Harry Potter Franchise in any way. This is all for fun. Don't sue.

Warnings: This is SLASH. Sirius/Severus. If you can't stand the thought of a boy obsessing over another, press the back button on your browser.

This was written as a challenge, but I erm... messed it up so much I'm not sure if I could call it the same challenge. *blush*

**Closer **

His sweet slow destruction was buried under a perfect smile. Dark-eyed and gleaming, Sirius Black kept a carnivorous secret hidden from poisoning eyes. Clock working in his every breath was an obsession, the dream, the craving of an impossible satisfaction that kept his temper on its tether ends and his loins in constant turmoil. Carefully, ever so carefully, he marked down the experiences of his lust. The leather bound journal contained his fiercest passions, as if the words alone had beaten the life out of it. The toasted pages curled, and often the words were illegible under the lucid drops of tears, hot wax and even blood. As he sat in the library, simmering in his own solitude like a demon who had just escaped from Hell, he opened the devious little book and turned to an earlier entry that day.

*

_ Monday 27th November 1975 – Breakfast in the G. Hall. He is avoiding my eye and yet I can feel him licking my every move. His presence is in me: a twining, silvery precious thing that worms into my head like a Mantra. Closer... Closer… that venomous creature crawls to me. His calls of desperation ricochet in my sheets. His slithering tongue, his eyes, his salacious smile all meet my meditating gaze. He eats meagrely and drinks little. No wonder my dark-precious is so thin and broken! And yet, I muse endlessly over that coy mouth thinking about how many times I have touched those silent lips, kissed them passionately and brutalised them with my relentless lust. _

_My Sweet-Dragon moves, leaving the table and dragging my eyes with him. My hypnotic and dazed stare undresses him. I mark each scar on his thigh, each bite of his past and every adorning bruise that compliments his sweet, serpent heart. We had merely experienced the delights of fire the night before last, and still I burn with his ecstasy inside me. My poor hips ache as the mere power of his angry desire pounded into me to the hilt with equal hatred and love. I tingle at the sensuality of his hard, shrill cries that fluttered into the fathoms of the midnight and the trust, the sheer sacred trust, with which he tried to escape his painful life through my own._

_*_

Sirius trembled as a raw shameless shiver, shimmied between his thighs, enflaming him hot. All he could do was swallow and be victim to its merciless bidding. He needed the boy again. He needed him to make him feel good, to make him feel all right once more. His sweet attrition was an addiction. The blazing pain which tore his heart every moment he was away from those gorgeous hands was cumbersome and heavy. He would sob, if he wasn't so maddened with passion. 

He had charmed the Slytherin password out of some first year who was impressed with his notorious reputation. He was supposed to be in herbology but he could easily make up the class and he knew that Snape would be having a free at this time. He had hoped he'd be in the library, but to no avail. His only other option was the Slytherin dorms and he'd take his chances of being caught.

To his great luck, most of the 5th year Slytherins were outside practising quidditch. Those who didn't play, watched. As he had hoped, as he entered the Slytherin dorm quietly; Snape was alone and he was reading a thick book intently. His head jerked up when he saw Sirius and he narrowed his eyes with an angry countenance.

"How did you get in here?"

"It doesn't matter, Severus. All that matters is that we are alone."

Severus lifted his eyebrows, slammed the dusty book shut and got to his feet. Slinking to the window he leaned against the wall, and tapped his feet pensively. 

The insouciance of his manner aggrieved Sirius. Did he not feel the primal lust that he did? Severus turned to the window, masking his expression of distaste and hatred, and muttered the words, "Leave. I don't want you now."

Yet the tremble in his tones, the animal twitch of vulnerability and defiance stood strong in his bones, told him that this wasn't going to be as easy as he had hoped. Sirius was crushed, but he persevered. Stalking to the bitter young man he wrapped his broad shoulders round him possessively. He could taste the sour desperation of Snape's neck and kissed it harshly. "Then when do you want me…Master?"

Sirius could feel his arousal thought the back of Snape's robes. He turned immediately and thorned Sirius with a look of pure contempt, "I don't want you. Ever. Now leave. I've had enough of you coming in and slobbering all over me like a filthy dog. Can't you see..? I no longer want you…"

Sirius's eyes easelled into narrow slits and his mouth quivered with disbelief. "Come now. Wasn't it you who came to me for love? Wasn't it you, the poor sweet supple soldier, wounded through the heart who came to me for refuge? Did I not protect you when that brute Lestrange beat you?" Sirius held his lingering gaze on Severus's uneasy apprehension. "You cannot leave me so easily."

"You were worse than all of them. I came to you for safety, but all you did was use me for my body. You showed me no love, only your disgusting lust and vulgar desperation. You exposed me to crimes I didn't even know existed. You ruined my innocence; you took me as your whore and treated me like a dog. You were worse than any other Slytherin, so do not disillusion yourself with visions of heroism."

Sirius clenched his jaws, but kept the snarling hunger beneath his skins. He couldn't take this much longer: the urgency in his bones was imperious and the throbbing of his heart was overbearing. 

"Do not pretend you were innocent in all of this… It was you who seduced me…" Sirius teethed angrily, pressing Severus against the rough stone wall, and oiling his incongruous erection across the other boy. Severus drilled his eyes into Sirius's and parted his mouth with sensuality, surprise and anger. "You wanted me as greedily as I wanted you. It was you who followed me most of the day. You could have gone to Remus, James or Peter, but no, you chose me above all others."

Severus winced inwardly; it was a tug of regret. It had been the truth. Never go for the kill, when you can go for the pain, he repeated to himself bitterly. He had wanted Black because he was dangerous, unpredictable and fiery: and now he had to suffer the consequences. "You made me follow you. You said that that way you could protect me, and so I did. Instead, you publicly humiliated me, you made fun of me: all to make you look good in front of your friends."

"You were dependant on me."

"True, but you took advantage of it. You used me far too much and often. I was a just an outlet for your incessant sexual fantasies. You hurt me, and refused to see it. Now let me go."

"No." he stroked a swathe of limp hair from Severus's eyes and scored a hungry kiss on his lips. 

Severus shut his eyes, wan and exhausted, as Sirius raided his body frantically with his hands. His smouldering palms, massaged his flesh sumptuously, reaching up his robes and trying to force an arousal. Yet he was struggling and Severus shuddered with its degrading brutality. He winced, gasped, flinched as often he had to and his head lulled back and forth tiredly and Sirius worked on him. 

"Leave me alone, Sirius." 

"I want you, Severus. I want to love you."

"You want to degrade me. You don't love me. I am not real to you…Get off me!" Severus exulted, and with a final drop of strength, he pelted him across the head with a fierce blow and he fell onto the soft floor with an iridescent lurch. 

Heavy breaths choked the air and after a while Severus breathed, "I want to be free of you. You make me feel dirty and chained. I'll tell James and Remus and Peter."

Sirius laughed shrilly, "They already know. Why else do you think they look at you, as if you're filth? You're no better than a slut, especially to James. You're just a disgusting piece of filth. Even Remus hates you, as much as he tries to hide it. He says you're ugly and rude. You'll find no solace or pity from the Gryffindors my love and no doubt the Slytherins have discarded you."

"Then I'll be alone." He murmured with a small, sad acceptance in his heart. "Just as I always have been and will learn to be for the rest of my life…" 

He looked so young, so tender and pale with a mouth so smoothly innocent that Sirius couldn't help but stomach the pain he knew he was causing. A grave empty void so wide and deep, that you could swim in it had wormed its way into Severus's heart and yet another crushing wave of despair had drowned him, filling it with dejection once more.

"I was a fool to think you could help me: that anyone could help me. Tell Remus that I hate him! Tell him to fucking die and rot in his own lies! I hate all of you more than my body allows it!" 

At once, Sirius thought he had made him cry and immediately felt a dram of pity throb through his heart. He didn't understand his turmoil. Why was he making things so difficult? 

Snape had his face hidden in his hands and was pacing lightly across the room trying to desperately avoid the hopelessness that was crushing in on him. Hope was dead. All was dead. Sirius was sprawled on the floor, like a dirty madman, his tussled hair and lustful eyes manic. All he would have to do was yank up his robes and give him a wild time. A time which he could forget, which they could both forget. Yet he wouldn't resign. He had given into the weakness of a warm chest, the breathing of another human being, the softened strength of another's arms, too many times already. Often he had tried to think of the good things, the wholesome things to ease the mindless, winding pain that assaulted him. He tried to think of others, he tried to make it tender and pleasant, but it all pained him. Like a child, hunched in another man's arms, he had been too frightened to say no. 

"You're being irrational, Severus."

Severus didn't answer and neatened his folded robes with his shaking fingers. He tried to concentrate on the afternoon sun: the ever-glaring sun which cut the white sky with shimmering gold. Hunger, sadness, resignation dampened his bones, and still he didn't capitulate.

"Leave." He said firmly, "Leave or else I'll tell Dumbledore. I'll try to get you expelled. I'll—" 

Snape faltered and didn't complete his sentence. Leave or else I'll kill you…I'll kill myself…

"You cannot discard me! You cannot expect me to leave you so easily! I'll kill you…"

Severus shut his eyes with frustration; Black always could say the words he wasn't brave enough to say himself. Hard, trying very hard to ignore the hatred steaming from the boy behind him, he glared directly into the sun, trying to scorch his eyes out and blind his thoughts. 

A forceful shuffling was heard behind him.

"I hate you, Snape. You little slut! I'll tell everyone about you! I'll warn them of your venom! I cannot even watch you stand there! You won't even look me in the face, you coward!"

Sirius launched to his feet, plodded heavily to the door which awaited his exit. Severus watched his furious eyes flashing reflecting in the window, and taking out a little red book from his robe pocket, he lunged it at Snape's head, missing him narrowly and tumbling to the ground sprawling its short pages everywhere. The door slammed, and at once, the room was deadly silent. Only the pounding of the blood in his own ears was audible and looking downwards, Severus picked up the battered book, turned to the front page and with a heavy sadness, began to read.


End file.
